I was walking down the high street
When I heard footsteps behind me,
And there was a little old man
In scarlet and grey chuckling away.
Well, he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the telly,
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chuckling away laughing all day.
"Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
And you can't catch me,
Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
And you can't catch me,"
Said the laughing gnome.
Well, I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine.
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
And carried his bag
And gave him a fag.
In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed,
With his brother whose name was Fred.
He'd brought him along to sing me a song.
"Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
And you can't catch me,
Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
And you can't catch me,"
Now they're staying up the chimney,
And we're living on caviar and honey,
And they're making me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows.
"Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
and you can't catch me,
Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
and you can't catch me
"Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!
I'm the laughing gnome
And you can't catch me,
Ha, ha, ha! He, he, he!"
