I’d never been to Milton Keynes before. I got there around 9.30am on Monday the 6th of October, took a cursory look at the local information signs and strode off in the general direction of the shopping complex. This seemed quite soon to be something of a foolish plan of action, as the streets were pretty deserted and nothing seemed to point in the general direction of anything. But Milton Keynes is clearly governed by the Deity of Straight Lines, who decreed, Walk in a straight line, and you will find your destination! Which was the centreMK, a great big shopping complex in the middle of nowhere, and my happy home for the next eight hours.
Once inside, I found the queue for Elijah tickets, so long I thought for a moment it was the queue for Him himself. I got my ticket – number 774. It was 10am, and they were up to number 60. Clearly, I had some time on my hands. So I wandered the stalls for a bit before going for a coffee. I then had a look at the other side of John Lewis where Andy and Sean were signing. The stars were cordoned off with great big partitions and a wall of plants, but you could still see Andy very clearly through the leaves (unlike Elijah and Dom who were completely out of sight from within the mall). I watched him for a bit – he seemed a thoroughly lovely bloke, shaking everyone’s hands, posing for pics etc. He was my second choice for someone to meet, but at that point I was attempting to stick to my resolve of only getting Elijah’s autograph, due to the £20 fee and my current scarcity of funds. So I went back to Lij’n’Dom’s bit – they were up to about 120, so I went outside and watched them through the window for a while. This was lots of fun. There’s nothing quite like the thrill of peering through a window catching glimpses of some beloved, untouchable star. And Elijah just exemplified everything I love about him. I could tell that he was giving so much of himself to these lucky early fans – not just hugs, kisses and photos, but looking at them and asking their name, listening to what they had to say, responding with sincerity. It was a joy just to watch him from the other side of a wall of windows.
Eljah having his pic taken with a baby (Dom was on the other side of the buggy)
At around midday, he and Dom got up for what I thought must be their lunch break. We of the window-peering crew trailed their procession down the mall towards the nearest entrance, where they disappeared into a staff-only door. Back inside, I wandered towards their signing area to see what number Elijah was up to. There, I overheard some of the security staff saying that the boys had just gone on a short break, not lunch. So I figured, they went out through that door, they’ve got to come back in again, and sat myself on a bench nearby. Only a couple of others had the same idea, and we were lucky, for it was not long before Elijah and Dominic came strolling past us,just as if they were a couple of normal blokes or something! Well, except for the barrage of security, of course.
Lij and Dom returning from their break. Spookily, Lij seems to be looking right at me, and is about to punch someone...
After that, I wandered on back to Andy’s bit, and after taking a couple of pics through the foliage I thought, oh sod it, I’m gonna meet him too. So I got a ticket for Andy – 431, and he was up to 300 at that point. Clearly, then, the only sensible thing to do was going back to watch Elijah and Dom through the window a bit more. After about half an hour of this I began to feel distinctly unwell. I think I was a tad dehydrated – I’d only had a coffee all morning, and that in combination with adrenaline and hunger made me thoroughly unconvinced of my ability to stay standing much longer. So I wandered back indoors to find myself some lunch, after which I felt much better.
Sean as seen from the queue for Andy
And a good thing too, for it was now time to meet Andy. He was only £15 – bargain! I picked a photo contrasting his face with Gollum's – there were perhaps better pics just of Gollum, but I though it would be nice to have a photo of the actual person whose autograph would end up on it. I guess it was about a quarter past two when I got to the desk. As he was finishing with the woman in front of me, I gave my ticket, photo and camera to the security lady next to him. Then Andy said hello, and I said it was lovely to meet him. He thanked me, shook my hand and asked my name. I told him and he started to sign the photo, but hesitated after the ‘SU’ so I helped him out with the spelling. He carried on writing - I couldn't see what. I burbled out something fangirlish about how amazing he was as Gollum, and he thanked me again, very sincerely. Then I asked him what he was up to now, and he told me about his new film, “The Merchant of Venice”, which I think he said he had just finished. I said I looked forward to seeing it, and asked if I could have my photo taken with him. He got up and put his arm round my shoulders – and I should mention that he was surprisingly good-looking in the flesh, displaying his well-defined arms, as evidenced below ;) He looked at the wrong camera for a bit, which was amusing. I think the previous fan was lurking, taking more photos (I initially typo'd previous as precious, how appropriate!) The security lady caught his attention and I got my photo.
At last! A decent photo!
I’ve had very few star encounters, and that was undoubtedly my best one yet, thanks largely to the fact that he was such a friendly and approachable man. I sat down and had a look at the autograph. He had written “HI SUSANNA! precioussss….” followed by his signature. I love it.
Back to Elijah central then. I’d heard some official types commenting on the fact that Elijah had just gone to lunch while I was waiting in the queue for Andy. I noticed there now were quite a few camera-clutching fans hovering near the door they’d used for their previous break. So naturally, I joined them. However this time quite a mob began to build up. So imagine our surprise when a strangely Dom-like voice suddenly emanated from the loudspeaker: “Shoppers of Milton Keynes! Everyone must listen to this announcement! We are watching you…” This was followed by what sounded like a very bad Gollum impersonation, but whether this was Dom, Elijah, or some other random lunatic I could not tell. It was a mad, glorious moment. Though I should have guessed from Dom’s words, and the fact that all of Dom and Lij’s security bods soon appeared through the door sans hobbits, that the boys were going to find an alternative route back to their signing seats. Which, of course, they did. Pah.
Dom posing
Anyway, Elijah's queue was up to about 400 by then, so I watched from outside a while longer. Finally my back was verily begging for mercy, so I went back indoors and sat by the foliage near the boys. The next couple of hours were a kind of random mixture of sitting, peering through the leaves, and wandering off for food. By 5pm, they were really starting to shove fans through rapidly. I watched from the exit of the hobbit enclosure, where I could see the fans as they met Elijah, but not Elijah himself. I was trying to gauge how much time I could expect with the lovely one, and it did not look good. It was about 5.30pm when I finally got in. I had seen some beautiful Frodo pics being signed earlier in the day, but by the time I got there, there were only two pics to choose from – all the hobbits, or an old non-Frodo shot of Elijah. I chose the latter, a beautiful pic though I would have gone for a pic of Frodo had one been available. And in a very short time indeed I was at the front of the queue, for they were whipping us through. Security dude took my ticket and pic of Lij. I walked up to Elijah as he signed, and waited for him to look up, when I took my photo. He handed me the autographed pic, and I said, “Thank you very much” – and he spoke! Unfortunately, it was not to me. Yes, after eight hours of waiting, I had to catch Elijah in mid-conversation with someone else. Bugger. Of course, he had every right to chat, it was just my bad luck that I happened to be the one there at the time. I don’t think he even glanced at me, and of course, there was no time to remedy the situation, for I was shuffled out straightaway. Ah well. My encounter with Elijah was disappointing, but in no way was that to do with Elijah himself. Not after seeing him give so much to the earlier fans. Sad fact is, no one can give that much to 1000 people. It’s much nicer to think that 500 or so people got really memorable encounters with him, than all of us getting mediocre ones. And next time, I will arrive early :)
Lij ecstatic at the news that there were only 250 more autographs to sign
Anyway, at the speed things were going I knew it had to be over soon, so I decided to see it to the bitter end. I waited behind the enclosed area, camera poised, feeling certain that Dom and Elijah would come out that way. They surely wouldn’t leave the other way – the way all the fans had come in. Well, of course, they did. So the gang of fans still standing had the Beatles-style fun of racing down the mall after the boys, attempting to get one last pic before they disappeared for the final time behind that mysterious door. And thus ended my mad day in Milton Keynes. May there be many more of them!
Au revoir...
All words and images copyright Susanna Griffin 6/10/03. Images not to be nicked and used elsewhere, unless you want to look stupid for having such crap photos.
Email me, if you like! goodlysin@yahoo.co.uk