"We all invent ourselves

and, well, you know me . . ."

 

—R.E.M., "Crush with Eyeliner," 1994

I am the entity known on LiveJournal and various other places as QueerByChoice. I am also the founder of the QueerByChoice Mailing List, and the proud owner of the domain QueerByChoice.com—on both of which I'm better known by the name of Gayle Madwin. It is not my real name. I also possess two symmetrically gendered names: Cyrus and Cynthia, one or the other of which is my real name. There are currently about 300 people on the internet who know my gender and can thus figure out which of those two is my real name—but for most of the years 1999-2001 there were only one to three people on the internet who knew my gender, and since it quite simply isn't anybody's business but mine, I'm not going to bother disclosing it here to anyone who doesn't already know.

I converted to queerness on April 8th, 1992, at age 15—you can read about my conversion in my QueerByChoice Member Profile. I celebrate my rebirthday every year with a cake and the appropriate number of candles. Or at least, I would celebrate it that way if having to bake my own birthday cake were a way that I'd really feel like celebrating. Let's put it this way: if anybody feels like baking me a rebirthday cake next April 8th, I'll be happy to help them eat it.

I am now 27 years old (as of July 20, 2003). I'm currently sexually oriented toward queer by choice androgyne geniuses who read a lot, care about the world, appreciate their own beauty, don't believe in religion or sociobiology, and don't mind if I make them listen to David Bowie a minimum of 25 hours per day.

I live in a tiny studio apartment with four mirrors in it, one mirror per wall. The mirrors are important: they remind me of my own existence and give me someone to talk to. I have frequent conversations with the selves behind the mirror; usually I flirt with them, because surely half the pleasure of being queer is to be attracted to myself.

Other people do not seem to be equally attracted to me. At least, they very rarely fall at my feet and beg for the honor of kissing my toes. I've never quite understood that.

Aside from my queerness, my biggest achievements are writing a really good fragment of a novel which I must figure out how to finish someday, winning first place in Undergraduate Poetry ($200.00) in the Bazzanella Literary Awards at college in 1996, and being awarded the BowieNet "Site of the Week" award by David Bowie himself, for writing the Homepage of Dahir Bowgri, December 20, 1999. I'm also currently actively involved in a protest against PFLAG's anti-choice policies. And in my very rare remaining moments of free time, I make art for my online art galleries and read constantly.

Other than that, I haven't done much yet in my life. I have something of a talent for Not Having Done Anything. I never see movies, watch less than one hour of TV per week, have never touched alcohol (not even on my 21st birthday) and don't even do caffeine, much less other drugs, and have kissed only four people in my life.

Despite being a cyber-drag monarch, I had not realized until recently that I had any actual royal blood in my veins. I provide a list of my royal ancestors here just on the off-chance that it may convince someone to offer me a throne of my own. Where's my inheritance??? If you do feel any urge to offer me a throne, then please feel extremely free to do so—and please don't bother consulting a doctor about your sanity until my coronation is safely completed!

My reading materials say a lot about me. For a completely random honest glimpse into my life, check out all the books between "G" and "M" on my bookshelves.

You can check out my latest news in my online journal.

© 1999, 2000 by QueerByChoice. All rights reserved.