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March 04, 2008 01:06PM
One day.....
You woke up...a morning time...all sunny....more than any other days.....a day like no other.....
Pull up the shade of your bedroom's window....
Outside !!!!!
a car...the car of your dreams, there, with a big bow....in the middle of no where.....
something you always wanted coming to you.....A dream on front of your eyes...for you.....
You put your clothes on...you get outside...tell the guy who brought that gift to you, to go away with it.....
Nope !!!!
You don't want a gift coming to you....something you always wanted...something you never had believed would had ever came to you...
Never in your life time you would had believed your dream finally would had came true...
and .....when it just knocked to your door...saying....
" Here you go....I am there for you...... "
You just say...I refuse it...I refuse what I was dying for.....
You turn your back on something.....a beauty like any other, which could had been part of your life...
finally.....
you finally admit, that happiness just has to knock to another door....
here the whole portrait of myself there.....
a gift of life....the only you wanted...coming to you...a complete life to get to find it....and you just decide...it doesn't belong to you....
so voila...here what I do with a gift of a life time...I turn my back away from it...walk into the other direction...the opposite....left it.....behind.....
we make our life being the expression of what we are.....
and sometime you just realize....
what you wanted you just can't even open your arms.....to embrace it....
a gift of life
the only one that ever came to you that way......the only want you wanted.....
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December 28, 2007 12:06PM
Another year almost gone !!!!
Times flying in which direction..not sure...
Time for decisions to take...still
For some people here, that year have been a really good year, I am happy about that.
For me, one of the worse and difficult year of my life.
I have been following a path, a road, many roads in fact...trying to find answers....to find love...
I have been trying to see everything in a different way , an opening on everything...exploring roads I had never taken before...
And it came...my lost ...in hope...in love...stopping dreaming as well...I find it so strange , looking back, those choices I have taken bringing me where I am now...
We change...that is probably the only positive thing coming...that it could not be like that forever....maybe...not sure though...
Before I wanted to understand , the reasons, why....not anymore...I am living with the result of all that..making new roads where there are none in fact...maybe building my own one will get me somewhere...
I can say I have grown up...in a way I never thought ,so much disillusions....
the result of so many travelings...so many meeting...so many stories...enough to fill a life ...but which all happened in a year....
I have believed...I had believed it would had brought me somewhere....an open heart.....traveling the world....
and now...I see the year coming...like something that can't be worse...
you can say to me, I have health, a job, a roof... and for that I should be blessed....I know what is like to be sick , let me tell you...I know what death means...I know all that....and I know that being healthy is for sure something we should all feel blessed....but it doesn't remove in anyway the result of my life right now....
Did you ever had that feeling of having to choose everything all over again....and again....and from now , afraid to take the bad desisions all over again as well..
2007 was the death of my heart once for all.....
2008 will be changes for other bases....which one ???
finding inside myself keys, hidden...I have been analysing myself in every ways you can possibly imagine...if there is something I don't see, it must have a reason to be hidden that way...must be....
We wish so often there must be a reason..to explain....when you don't believe in anything...you try to understand...
there is no reason sometime...no....
like life doesn't owe us anything
life is there...we are part of it....but it certainly doesn't owe us anything....
may to everyone have smiles love and a life fulfil in every ways possible...
I don't even know what I should wish for myself...
I don't want love....achievement ?? I don't feel I need more than the one I have right now...a new carrier again ???? maybe...moving far from here ????? maybe.....seriously....I just don't know...and I don't want to wish for myself anything....no expectations in any kind......
I look to that window beside me....where St-Lawrence is filled with ice....making the whole decor....frozen in time.....something that is waiting....waiting for better days to come...
and I believe I am just part of that winter decor.....
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August 12, 2007 08:19PM
When I will close my eyes and see the roses
Into that garden....mine....that one I carry with me.....
When the sound of the river will sing to me
Into that hidden world I wish to discover.......
When the tint of the sky will change
Making the reflection of the seasons passing...years after years....
It will be there
Into that wind on my skin on a sunny morning....
Into that rain covering my visage on a sad day.....
It will be there
For the time to come
into those others on my road....
Those others I will let reaching me
as life must goes on
It will be there
But I know.......that day.......
That day....that one....at that unique moment
When I will close my eyes for the last time.....
You will be there......
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