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August 01, 2006 11:42AM
Long story short here:
I went on vacation with my family to Wisconson to visit my half sister and my neice and nephews (who are ADORABLE btw).
We all went to "Noah's Ark" (America's largest water park) and were having a pretty good time!
I wear contact lenses, therefore I wore goggles most of the time to prevent chlorine infecting me and the chance of them falling out.
While wearing these goggles in the lazy river, I got kicked in the head by a woman who did not retaliate to her HURTING MY HEAD by APPOLOGIZING, but makes a HUGE scene. Here is the basic convo between her and I:
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Woman: "EXCUSE ME! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"
Me: "Excuse me? What are you talking about, you kicked me in the head! Is this an appology?
Woman: "I know exactly what you are doing!!!! You are looking up womens bikinis!"
Me: "Haha, no ma'am, I am not looking up women's bikini's. I am gay and I am nowhere near a woman"
Woman: "SECURITY!!!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS SECURITY!? ATTENTION EVERYBODY, YOU ARE BEING SEXUALLY HARRASSED BY THIS LITTLE FUCK!"
Me: "Ma'am, don't make a scene over something that isn't true!"
Woman: "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PARK OR I WILL GO TO SECURITY!!!"
Me: "You are butt ugly number one and number two, I AM GAY! GO GET FUCKING SECURITY! THEY WILL LAUGH AT YOU, THEN I WILL HAVE THEM KICK YOU OUT FOR SLANDER!"
Woman: "SECURITY SECURITTTTTTTTTY! EVERYBODY! THIS FUCKER IS LOOKING UP YOUR BIKINIS!"
Me: "Ma'am, SHUT UP! EVERY WOMAN HERE IS IN A BIKINI, SO ACCORDING TO YOU, EVERYONE HERE IS SEXUALLY HARRASSING YOU AND EVERY OTHER WOMAN"
Woman: *insane cursing and shouting*
Me (along with other people surrounding us): *laughing*
Then I just got out and went to a waterslide.
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So, in conclusion, ladies, I AM GAY! If I look at you, I am not getting off!! I love women as friends, but I just ain't the type to sexually harrass anyone, ESPECIALLY a 38 year old crazy woman.
Let's give peace a chance... please?
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July 10, 2006 10:49PM
The other day I got a wedding invitation from my cousin which said I am allowed to bring a guest. While opening this, my mother was hovering over me reading it and said "by guest I think they mean a girl since a wedding is a union of a man and a woman". I left for work without saying anything to anyone...
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July 01, 2006 06:15PM
I applied at Bed Bath and Beyond today! LMAO! It went well and I will find out if I have a job on Monday. I also want to apply at some record stores or something else... but I cannot stand working for Chad "THE DICK WHORE" McNair (Owner of Hungry Howies). Another factor is that my car is getting too old and wants to retire from delivering... maybe i should wait tables? I am a big spender... I need extra pocket moneys.
My car has a blue and pink David Bowie bumper sticker circa 1980 btw and I love it!
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