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May 02, 2006 05:56PM
Seriously, I haven't been here in a year. Wow.
Carpe Diem because tempis fugit, motherfuckers!
Speaking of years, Daddy is taking one off. Jolly good for him. I mean, fuck it. Who wants to be putting out music when two Simpsons are top of the fucking charts?
That would be as wrong as Christy Turlington fucking Clint Howard.
Whaddup with the Jon Favreau headshot I'm sporting, anyways? I put it on my friend's pooter as wallpaper, then opened a window so he couldn't see it till he minimized.
Scared the every loving shit out of him! I thought he was gonna fall out of his office chair trying to get away from it.
Try it sometime. It's fun-NAY.
So anyway, here I am a year later. I'll try to keep up with this shit, but man... The last thing I need is responsibility.
I am beginning to think that the secret to life is to play as hard as you work. And haters who be all down on your shit for doing so are fucking useless.
Bitching, pissing and moaning get you nowhere but down. And who wants to hang with a depressed, bitchy fucker?
So if you're one prone to pissing and moaning, try another tactic:
DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
In other words, quit bitching and make your own fuckin' fun.
Here's a swell way to start. Get some weed and buy Cheech and Chong's first two movies. Smoke the weed and watch the movies.
You can repeat this with "CannonBall Run" and "Cannonball Run II", "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World", and "Team America".
Stupid movies and dope rule.
And don't forget to buy Twinkies, Cheetos, and some Ho-Hos. And a case of Red Bull.
No go out and start having some fucking fun already!
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April 14, 2005 12:24PM
Among the top (non-Bond) theme songs (because we all know that Thunderball RULEZ) of all time, Midnight Cowboy takes the fuckin' cake. It invokes feelings even if you've never seen the movie. It's one swank fuckin' song.
Kinda like how Jaws would not have been so fuckin' scary without that shiz going on in the background. Or how motel showers wouldn't freak you out if it weren't for Psycho.
Kinda the same way the old Incredible Hulk teevee show piano bit at the end made you sad even though Bill Bixby starred in that shit.
If anyone else other than Bill (Courtship of Eddie's Father and Blossom, anyone?) Bixby had been in that shit, it would have ruled. As it stands now, the only good thing to come out of that show was that the paycheck kept Lou Ferrigno in hearing aids for a few more years.
I'm just saying...
Today is Avatar Day, huzzah!
I totally snagged a Doris Day autographed 8x10 for next to nothing this week on eBay from my usual supplier of whack shit. He's got a kajillion comments, all positive and deals in kooky vintage headshots and publicity stills. He's currently trying to procure me a swank Roddy McDowell headshot and a Joan Crawford "Trog" still.
We'll see, I'm not holding my breath.
I also saw an autographed Elvis, Live in Hawaii original poster, signed by The Kang in all of his Fat Elvis jumpsuited glory, in blue velvet and tacky giant gilt frame. They want 2 G's for it. I'm still thinking. I mean, it's AWESOME in it's sheer cheezy-ness, but for that I could throw down and almost get something like Diller doing Warhol...
Cool shit rules. I'm still hoping that the Egyptians were right and when you die all the cool shit in your pyramid goes with you over the river Styx to the next life.
Speaking of Styx, how long do you think it will take for that Mike Brady lookin' lead singer/bitch finally admits he's a total dick and they have a reunion tour? That if that fucknuts hadn't written Mr. Roboto, I'd seriously consider stalking him just to step on his neck.
And while we're on the subject of asshats from awful bands... What the living fuck ever happened to Steve Perry? Seriously, why hasn't some deranged fan of *real* rock and roll ever beat his ass for being such a pussy?
Judas Priest Rules! Dokken are fags!
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April 11, 2005 03:40PM
I'm so buying Heavy Metal Parking Lot today. It's only on VHS but it is the funniest fuckin' documentary I ever saw.
It's like 1983 and Priest is playing just outside of DC at the Cap Center... So they take cameras out to the parking lot to interview metal heads while they get all fucked up in their camaros and el caminos, drinking Jack Daniels and smokin' doobies.
My favo(u)rite quote in the whole movie is when this one gang of pasty, scrawny mullet boys are all fuckin' out of their heads and the interviewer goes "So what do you think of Dokken?"
And they get all like "JUDAS PRIEST RULES! DOKKEN ARE FAGS!"
I wonder what those assholes are up to these days? Probally being mechanics or people who wave you on at a road construction site.
Anyways, that movie is the best.
Judas is coming to town with Queensryche. I'm getting that shirt made and wearing it to the show.
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