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September 15, 2005 10:26PM
It's colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for
Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don't you think?
To dress the ground in white and grey
It's so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second
That I spent waiting for you
Circumstances affords me
No second chance to tell you
How much I've missed you
(VNV Nation - "Beloved")
...
This is not my year. This is not my century. Sometimes I think this is not my life. I'd give a lot to be able to start all over, but unfortunately, life comes without a reset button.
I've recently been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and while MS is not lethal, it's certainly life-changing. After a bad flare-up, I was on a cortisone drip in the hospital for a while, and since then, my life has evolved around physiotherapy, ergotherapy, way too many drugs and wrapping my mind around the idea that this is not going away, not ever. No cure.
I'm trying to stay positive. Everybody tells me how easy it is to live with MS nowadays, but I can't help but notice that the smiling people who tell me this are not the ones who have to live with it, and I'm not finding it very easy so far.
...
Anyway. Since I'm unable to work at the moment, I find myself with a lot of free time at my hands. So here I am, trying once again to be more active on BowieNet.
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March 18, 2005 06:18PM
You know you haven't been to BowieNet in entirely too long if you find unread christmas cards in your inbox, and if there are features that have obviously been around for months, yet you don't know about them. Like blogs, for example.
I've never been all that active on BowieNet, but I feel bad for not keeping in touch with my internet friends at all.
Real life has sucked up all my time and energy for months. Lots of stuff has happened, most of it not good. People I cared about a great deal have died. My father has been in and out of the hospital. I've lost friends and found friends. A relationship that I've been in for over 8 years has ended, and I'm still picking up the pieces of my life.
Things are starting to look up, though, so hopefully, I'll be around more.
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