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March 23, 2007 10:19AM
Wednesday night I did something that I’d been dreading for a year and a half – I came out to my sister. It went surprisingly well! I still can’t believe it.
My sister has always been hyper critical of me, and she is one of those people that has definite expectations of how the world, and everyone in it, should be (which means she is disappointed a lot). She also became born again a few years ago and somewhat conservative (hell, she voted for Bush in both elections) so I was also worried about that.
And, I was worried because over the last few years we had finally become pretty good friends and I didn’t want to backslide into our usual battles.
But, as I have been feeling more and more comfortable with myself I decided that it was time she should know.
Mom and Dad have known since b and I first started “dating” and they have always been very supportive. In fact, I was a little disappointed when I came out to them since they were so blasé about it! I was hoping for a little shock or surprise. But all Mom said was, “well, I really look forward to meeting her!”. My parents have always been amazing, and I know am I really lucky to have them.
Anyway, my sister was also very cool about it. She said she supported me completely. We also discussed her religious views and she said that she and her best friend had talked about it before and they both felt that homosexuality is biological and not a choice.
In fact, the only time she got uncomfortable during conversation was when I told her I was wondering if I got the gene from my maternal grandmother who was always a bitterly unhappy woman. I thought maybe the source of her unhappiness was that she was gay but, due to the times, couldn’t do anything about it. That line of thought didn’t go over too well with my sister! I guess it’s one thing to realize your sister is gay, but grandmothers – well that’s a little too much for one day. 
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March 21, 2007 10:05AM
Whew…busy week. Not much free time since I was studying for a biology exam. Luckily, I love my class so studying wasn’t that much of a chore. I always thought chemistry was about toxic chemicals and blowing things up in lab, but the chemistry we are covering in this class is all about the elements and molecules that make up our bods. It’s pretty amazing to me that just four little elements (carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, nitrogen) make up most of our bodies and that just the way they are arranged or bonded together gives them their function. I guess I’ve always been interested in the way things work, so to get even a small glimpse of what’s going on in our bodies is fascinating. The body is pretty darn cool if you think about it. You can eat a bowl of ice cream and your body can turn it into blood, muscle, brain cells (and fat cells). Yup, it’s official, I’m a nerd.
The kayak is going well, although the work I did this weekend wasn’t as rewarding as putting it together was last weekend. I just cut the copper wires, filed them down, and then did lots of sanding. Still, it was fun! After spending all week in an office it’s nice to do something more hands on.
I’ve decided to move in with Ron. He will be the perfect roommate as he is never there, plus I’ve really fallen in love with the house he is renovating. It’s closer to work, I’ll have a nice bedroom, and we will share the third bedroom as an office. It will be good for me to get used to living with someone again. And, my rent will go from $970 to $450 which will save me a whole heck of a lot of dough.
Started the “golden bell” on Sunday, will write more about that later.
And, I spent a lot of time with b this weekend which was wonderful. She has the most amazing smile, and eyes…and well, it was nice just to be near her. She has great energy.
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March 15, 2007 09:58AM
Patti is my “golden bell” mentor. I had a meeting with her at the school Monday night and we ended up talking for almost an hour.
She’s in her late 60’s, probably not much more than five feet tall, and yet fills the room with her enthusiasm and her heart. I remember her from when I was at the school a couple of years ago – she was a lot quieter then, and always fretting about something. She has changed quite a bit, but is still herself - it’s just as if all of her good qualities – her sweetness, kindness and toughness -have all been magnified.
One thing that I like about Patti is that while she is this very kind, accepting, nurturing person she is also tough as nails. Somehow, though, those qualities don’t contradict themselves in her. She said that doing the 90 days of golden bell that you discover who you are, and as she said “honey, I’m a fighter!”. It’s so true, as her best friend is this 6’3” 200 lb. guy that she spars with almost daily. She also loves to mix it up with the advanced kung fu students. Yet, it’s not like she is fighting because she is pissed, or wants to prove a point, or conquer anyone, she just enjoys challenging herself and the interplay of energy between people. She seems to have an overabundance of energy so it’s probably a good release for her. Her husband is always telling her to “go play with Jude” because he can’t keep up with her.
Patti is also very easy to talk to. This turned out to be perfect timing because my therapist had to cancel our Monday appointment at the last minute. I ended up pouring out my heart to Patti instead, and she was very accepting and supportive. It was nice to feel comfortable enough to honestly discuss my spiritual flaws and my goals for the next 90 days, without feeling like I had to mince words or hide anything. I’m glad I was able to open up to her and I felt very much in touch with myself when I left. It was a good feeling!
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