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August 30, 2008 07:37AM
I rarely pot a blog but I just thought of it a few minutes ago to tell my heart-bending story.
My boyfriend, whom some of you have met, decided to end his life earlier this month. He was 40. There were NO visible signs prior. I, my kids and family and friends who knew him are all shell-shocked and disturbed by his sudden action.
We were together for seven years and I thought we'd be together forever. We've definitely had many highs and lows in the seven years we were together but through thick and thin, we endured our love for each other.
Not getting into much detail, he had suffered pain from his childhood, mainly coming from his mother. It has remained in him since he was young. He complained of not wanting to think about it and wish it would go away.
He disappeared on his mother's 70th birthday, maybe him not realising it. A passerby alerted the police and the detectives notified me a few days later on the 9th. I was like... this has got to be a horrid nightmare. My kids were sent upstairs.
We were a day away from our planned Paris trip. He told me he had renewed his passport. That was not the case. He told me earlier this year he was financially not ready to go on this trip. (A story I won't go into here). I told him I wouldn't go without him. He succumbed to my tears. My kids were all excited. I'm still trying to recoup my losses from the airfares and accommodations in Paris. GRRR
Now I'm feeling the eerie silence and absence of Ben living alone in my house. I'm angry, extremely hurt and also feeling so very sorry Ben couldn't tell me he felt this way :-( My family have been great but I'm terrified of being alone and living without Ben in my life :-(((
Caroline
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October 27, 2006 07:12AM
I've gone amiss here yet again. 
Halloween is just around the corner. I've got quite a few peeps coming over for trick-o-treating. My older son will be a clone trooper this year. His dad is making the blaster. My younger son will be a character from the "Cars" movie and his dad is making the costume from scratch. I can't wait to see it. Apparently it's going to be a car cutout from cardboard ! 
I will take pics and present them here if I remember.
What will you be doing for Hallowe'en ? Do you celebrate this holiday in your country ?
-Caro
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May 22, 2006 09:45PM
It's been ages since I last updated here.
Ben and I are NOT splitting up.
I have other issues now though.
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