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October 17, 2005 10:15PM
The new pic is of one of my fave bands, H.I.M. I've gotten WAY into their music lately, and there's a situation that's totally depressing me, and that concerns them. The idea that someone you respect as much as I respect them is so close that I can say something that I want him to hear, and I know he'll hear it, it drives me nuts! But I'm being denied the chance to speak to him, for whatever insane reason, and it's so frustrating!!!!! GR!!! I feel like someone's assuming I'm going to jump all over him and bug the hell out of him, but I won't. I'm way above that, and way too respectful of both the band and the man, I would never create some horror story of a music god being given away to the masses he can normally hide in online. It's not my fault that musicians just put in this amazing state of awe that I can barely breathe until I get used to the idea of them being a part of my everyday life. It drives me nuts!
Ok, I'm done complaining about that, so I'm off. Maybe my next post will be a little more cheerful. Toodles! *hugs and kisses*
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October 11, 2005 11:07PM
Ok, my ex-boyfriend gets discharged from the Marines tomorrow. I don't think I can deal with him being back home again. There's still too much of my heart wrapped up in him to be able to deal with everything the way I should. I don't want all my crap that I'm going through at the moment. My mom and my doctor want me on anti-anxiety meds, and I quite agree. I just have to actually get them started. I keep having panic attacks when I start on new meds, so I have to wait for a day when I have no school, no work, and nothing to actually do that day. (God, that'll happen about the time I hit 50!)
A friend of mine met (online) the lead singer of one of my fave bands. Ville Valo sings for HIM, and is a Bowie fan himself. :) He's a really cool guy though, not at all the kind you'd expect to be singing metal. (Even if it is love metal... It's still metal.)
Okay, I'm outta here. I'm tired, and I have school in the morning. Tata!
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August 01, 2005 12:43AM
The last week or so has been insane. I flew off the handle at my mom... I have anger management issues; I've known that for years. Plus, my depression seems to have gone into high gear lately. It's lonely here, knowing that no one understands why I want out so badly. I'd give anything to spread a pair of white feathery wings and fly away to London. That seems to be my dream world, where nothing can go wrong. Plus, that's where all the beautiful people are from. (Maybe not London, precisely, but somehow, the British seem a notch above the average American. Maybe it's better manners, more sophistication....)
My brother's trying to help me out some. He said that I can call him anytime I need to talk to someone about everything that's going on. He's told me to call his girlfriend, Lisa, as well, when I've got the insane urge to share something cosmetology-related. That's my passion right now; the only thing that can compare is music. Well, and film too, but I've been tending more to music lately.
One good thing though: I've been getting more clothes lately. My mom's been real cool about buying me new clothes since I started my new job. And she doesn't complain so much anymore about my wanting to stand out in the crowd. Amazingly, my dog's been cheering my up as well. I think he knows something isn't right, and he tries to cheer me up when I need it. Dogs are so good at things like that. I love him for it. He's so adorable!!!!!
Well, that's really all for now.. I'm waiting for a friend of mine to get out of boot camp for the Marines. I'll be so glad when he's done with all his training and comes home for good. It sucks without him here!
Okay, I'm leaving now.... Tata!
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