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January 31, 2006 12:03AM
student loans suck...i sometiems wonder if they ever actually look at the cost of living before doling out the money...after my tuition, that's double since last year, i have $2000 to live on for 4 months, 2 months of which is a full time unpaid internship that really kicks the shit out of any chance of working decent hours. here's my new schedule (luckily i have very linited class time):
monday: class from 11-9, work from home on a website for my office job until i pass out
tuesday: class from 9-12, office fron 1230 to 430 and baysit till 10
wednesday: i luckily don't have class so i can do homework, and babysit from 4-10
thursday: class from 9-9 (shoot me) then work from home on the website
friday: i clean work sites for an architect/renovator
saturday and sunday i am waiting to hear from a local cell hpone store to hopefully work there
in between that i have to fit in homework, organizing our graduating class's art show, find that internship i mentioned, and work the occasionl dinners for my mother that's a caterer...oh, and attempt to spend some time with the new boyfriend....i haven't slept more than 5 hours since friday and i feel like i'm going to crash hard
the biggest pisser...i have like 4 jobs and i still can't eve afford a fucking coffee on the way to school in the morning, the credit card companies want my head on a platter and utilites are going to end up getting shut off soon
my wonderfully supportive mother's suggestion?....get another job.....
ummm, when?
now, wouldn't it be nice if i could come home and relax for a few minutes a day...that's not going to happen....there is constant screaming from neightbours fighting over drugs etc. i mean i used to be all for smoking a big fat blunt, but they are talking crack and heroin....in the past month there have been 3 major fights, neighbours threatening each other in the hall with knives, and saturday night, some guy tried to run down the crack whore (literally), that lives below me, in the parking lot, then getting out and pushing/punching her around. i want to move, but alas, i can't afford anymore rent than i pay here, and my rent is fucking cheap since my sister is the building manager and got me a huge deal....
all i want is a week without drama...is that too much to ask?
i'm tired, bitchy, and becoming completely burnt out... half my friends don't want to be around me, and the few that do are getting a crappy deal....i actually snapped at my friends 2 year old tonight after she broke my new salt shaker...that's just not cool, she's 2 and it was an accident..besides, it's a damn salt shaker...nothing to get pissed about
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December 31, 2005 12:20PM
as you might know, i am not at my best during the holidays. they always seem to put me in a bad mood, no matter how well the family interaction goes. new years eve is the worst though i'm sure being single again this year isn't helping.
i generally combat the horrid mood with a ton of friends, booze, and acting like an all around ass..but this year most of my friends are off out of town and money has decided i am no longer able to go. i was bummed, but i found a few friends that were planning on sticking pretty close to home and threw together a small party at my place.
yesturday the guy i'm kinda seeing was needed in london and my best friends fiance is sick and she wants to stay home with him...i'm not mad at them canceling, just bummed cause it new years is looking more and more like me in my pj's on the couch. there is my other best friend and her new boyfriend. they were going to be at my place but figured if its just the 3 of us, why not go out to our favourtie pub. here's the thing, we always have a blast when we go out, but spending new years eve as the third wheel is never uuplifting.
i just need to decide which kick to the ego would hurt less, sitting at home alone, or being reminded that i couldn't get a relationship to work out if my life depended on it.
*sigh* at least the princess bride is on tv tonight
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December 25, 2005 12:23AM
i admit, i am not a festive person. christmas depresses me, thanksgiving is a pain, my birthday is unbearable (no not because i think i'm old). my family puts the fun in dysfunctional and when you get 25 of us in the same house and it can be trying to say the least.
there are a few things you can count on at christmas eve with the kalas': way too much food, but then again i get kick ass left overs (my folks are caterers :D), there's someone drunk and being mildly amusing, and a minimum of one screaming match.
this year was pretty much the same, but no fights. it was kinda cool and the first family get together without one in years. had the traditional phones calls to toronto, bc, and hungary, toalked to some cousins for the first time too :D.
tomorrow is going to be a big change to my usual christmas activities tomorrow. all the kids i nmy family are grown, i'm the baby at 26, there's 28, 40, and 42, so we do all of our stuff on christmas eve. xmas day i generally spend holed up in my apartment, ordering pizza and watching violent movies to cheer me up...lol. this year i am heading out to a little cottage by the beach, and spending the day with my best friend and her family, who took me in when my house was too much to take in highschool. i haven't spent christmas with them in years, and some other friends will be stopping by for the party after dinner. wow, a chrismtas event i'm looking forward to.
i'm not hanging the stockings or anything, and christmas carols still make me cringe but i'm not quite as bah humbug as i usually am
ignore the spelling, one of the things mom always provides is lots of good wine.
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